I always thought it would be easy but God had different plans. I thought once I got married, I would get pregnant right away and start a family right away but that certainly wasn't the case. My husband and I tried for 18 months and those long months came with lots of tears, evap lines and missed periods but after 16 months of trying, I got diagnosed with PCOS and Hypothyroidism and that was my missing puzzle piece into why I wasn't getting pregnant. After 6 months with no period and then randomly bleeding straight for almost 4 months was brutal. I found out that I had no uterine lining and super low progesterone and that's what was causing me to constantly bleed. I started pills and it finally stopped. In Novemeber (when I got diagnosed with PCOS and Hypothyroidism) I started thyroid pills which have been amazing and they also prescribed Clomid which I would start on my next period on CD 3 (Cycle Day 3) for 5 days. I started my period in December 2016 which then I started Clomid and for those who have been on it,you know what I mean when I say...the side effects are brutal and it is alot of work because you can't just take the pills and wait. You have to plan and have sex on certain days if not everyday so you can hit those peak days on ovulation and hope that it worked. I later found out that round didn't work and I was discouraged and sad because I wanted it to work so badly but we decided to give it another try for January and we found out that it worked and I cam currently almost 17 weeks pregnant which is an incredible blessing...BUT I am not here to tell you my story. I am here to tell all of those who have been trying for months or years that you are not alone. I cried whenever I saw a pregnancy announcement on social media because I wanted that to be me. I know that all of you understand that it's painful and hard to see that, to see that your friends/family get to have this miracle growing inside them instead of you. I had a hard time and still am having a hard time posting pregnancy statuses and bump pictures on social media because I know alot of you are hurting and don't want to see that, so when I post things, I am not trying to stuff it in your face, I am just sharing my journey and I want you to know that hope is coming and one of my favorite blogs is about how God is making your baby! He is preparing you for the greatest journey but He is waiting for the perfect time to give you this amazing blessing and someday you may or may not find all the puzzle pieces and that is okay. It's okay to feel like giving up. Sometimes you need a break from trying and that is perfectly okay, there is nothing wrong with that. Just because it's taking a little extra longer doesn't make you any less of a Woman or human being, it just means that you are strong and you are capable of doing this! You've got this and remember you are not alone. I pray for each and everyone who is struggling with infertility because it's not easy. It is one of the hardest things to go through. God's got you in His arms and He won't let go. Through your journey, He is with you <3
"Still" by Hillary Scott
"I believe that You are God alone
But sometimes I still try to take control
Cause I get scared when I can't see the end
And all You want from me is to let go"
"You're parting waters
Making a way for me
You're moving mountains that I don't even see
You've answered my prayer before I even speak
All You need for me to be is still
Be still"
