My birth story!

My son's due date was Oct 9th so as we were drawing closer to the date we got more excited knowing that we would be meeting our son really soon. As the 9th came and passed, I got more sad and disappointed because I was so ready to meet my son. As days passed, I stopped talking to people, I stopped going places and I could barely do anything just because of how uncomfortable and in pain I was. The time came where I had to get an ultrasound done to see if things were still good which they were as he passed with flying colors and then time came to do my NST test and to talk about induction. He passed the NST test as well which I was so grateful for but I was so ready to meet him! That whole week I was having contractions on and off which defiantly made it tiring. During my NST test my midwife checked my cervix and it was soft which was exciting and so we ended up talking about induction and I decided that I would do the induction drink (midwife recommended) which included castor oil, almond butter and nector juice. She also recommended that Grant and I enjoy a nice supper before I took the drink. After the appointment we decided to go out and eat and during that time I was having consistent contractions. We then picked up all the ingredients for the drink and headed home to try and sleep before I took this drink. I woke up at 3am to take it and right after I finished the drink Contractions picked up and got more intense. We waited it out for about two hours and then decided to call my midwife. This was it, we were so excited because she and the birth photographer were on their way. We then started to fill up the pool that was in our living room and started to get things ready.

Once she came, she checked me and my cervix was softer than the night before. I got into the pool as things were starting to pick up. I never thought that I would end up having back labor so with every contraction, it felt like my hips and back were going to break. After a few hours in the pool, things weren't really progressing so I did some walking and tried some new positions during contractions which hurt so badly because of my back.  I ended up going back in the pool and just breathed and yes I screamed through my contractions. I tried to rest in between them but the longer the time in between, you know the more intense the next contraction would be.  I labored for a while on the toilet as it was a good position to help bring him down more as he was still up and not wanting to come down. We then decided to try saline shots that went into my back to see if they would help relieve pressure during my contractions which didn't end up working unfortunately. It's crazy how contractions literally take over your body. I wanted to give up so many times but I kept reminding myself that this is what I wanted and that I'd be holding my son in my arms soon, I just didn't know how soon. I remember during one contraction I yelled "I can do this" over and over again because I knew that I could do it.

My midwife decided to break my water and we were hoping things would progress or else I'd have to go to the hospital because he was being stubborn and didn't  want to come out. About half n hour to 45 minutes later things really turned around and I felt like I had to push, so We made our way into the bedroom and the midwife started to set her things up and she called the other midwife to come. Things were really progressing and it was the most craziest yet uncomfortable experience ever. They put a mirror down there so I got to watch his head slowly come out which was so crazy!

With every contraction I pushed and screamed knowing that I would meet my son very soon. Soon I started to throw up with every push and I'm surprised I didn't pop a blood vessel in my face!

Pushing for two hours is exhausting but so worth it. After a good hard push, his head came out and then his body wiggled out of me....literally wiggled out of me. The midwife has never seen a baby come out the way he did. They immediately placed him on my chest and that feeling of holding your baby for the first time is indescribable, no words can explain. We ended up doing delayed cord clamping as well which was wonderful.


I ended up having a 2nd almost 3rd degree tear because he came out with his arm by his head so we had to go to the hospital but before we did that, the midwives helped me get cleaned up and helped me out of the bed as I was exhausted and still trying to figure out what had just happened.

After 22 hours of all natural back labor and 2 hours of pushing, I would do it all over again.

After a year and a half of trying, two rounds of Clomid and 10 months of growing this wonderful miracle inside, we finally met our miracle baby and it was the greatest experience ever. Knowing that I can hold my baby anytime I want Is just Awesome! I am so blessed to be his Mother and I am excited for this new journey.

Landon Elliott Sawyer was born on Oct 22nd weighing 8lbs 13oz and was 21 and a half inches long. We couldn't be more excited ❤

Finding out we were pregnant!

As most of you know, we are having a baby!  It has been a long and emotional journey but it has been worth the wait. Some of you may not know but I ended up going on a fertility drug called "Clomid." Clomid is a fertility drug that can cause ovulation  (as I wasn't ovulating). It doesn't always work for alot of couples so we were fortunate. I went on the first round in Dec on my cycle day 3-7 and then on cycle day 21 I have to get my progesterone checked to see if I ovulated and unfortunately I didn't so we decided to try again in January and the thing with fertility meds is you have to plan everything out.....like when you will do the bd (baby dance). It is recommended that you have sex every other day starting the day after your period till your next cycle. After I tried clomid (Jan 6th- Jan 10th), I hoped and prayed that I would ovulate so right after I finished clomid, we started "trying." On Cycle day 19 I started cramping and had body aches but I kept monitoring it and I had body aches on cycle day 20 as well.  I went to get my progesterone checked on cycle day 21 and two days later I called my OB and my levels were at a 56.7 which is absolutely amazing and super high. I started getting a cold and I was constantly cramping and my period wasn't supposed to be due for another week , week and a half or whenever it was going to come but part of me kind of thought it was implantation cramping. My family decided to come down for the day on Jan 29th (cycle day 26) and after they left, I wanted to test so badly! I wasn't going to test till the middle of week but I felt like I should test. I tested on my cheap strips that I bought off Amazon and I saw something....a very very very faint line and I got so excited that I ended up taking a first response and once I dipped it, it started doing its thing and there was a second line! I can't tell you that feeling because it is so amazing to finally see a second line on a test!! To know that after everything we have been through, to know that there is a baby growing in me is the most amazing thing ever! We still don't know exactly when I ovulated but we know I ovulated early because I am farther along than I originally thought.  I am currently 17 weeks pregnant and my morning (all day) sickness is pretty much gone. I still get nauseous once in a while but I am so happy to have my appetite back.

We have a midwife and she is amazing! We also found out we are having a precious boy and we love him so much and we can't wait to meet him in 5 months. His due date is Oct 9th but I believe he will be a little early. I also didn't get morning sickness till I was 9 weeks.

My pregnancy symptoms when I found out I was pregnant were:
-Body aches
-Feeling sick
-Cramping
-Eating at midnight for about a week
-Tiredness

My current symptoms are:
-Hungry
-Tired but have spurts of energy
-Feeling flutters/tickles in my cervix
- Odd chest pressure
-Growing hair around my belly button

Besides some of the odd symptoms, I am loving being pregnant and knowing that our son is healthy and strong. Such an amazing miracle and gift from God.

It's hard to see the second line in the first one but it's just very faint.

 The first response is a little more clearer

For those who are still waiting.....

It's not easy writing this as I know what it feels like to wait and have no answers as to why God hasn't given you the answer yet but I am here today to tell you that He has answered. It may not be the answer you are looking for or wanting but that is when faith and trust come into place more than ever and I don't want to give you the lecture of "Be patient, it will happen" or "You still have plenty of time" because those sentences...those words hurt deeply. 

I always thought it would be easy but God had different plans. I thought once I got married, I would get pregnant right away and start a family right away but that certainly wasn't the case. My husband and I tried for 18 months and those long months came with lots of tears, evap lines and missed periods but after 16 months of trying, I got diagnosed with PCOS and Hypothyroidism and that was my missing puzzle piece into why I wasn't getting pregnant. After 6 months with no period and then randomly bleeding straight for almost 4 months was brutal. I found out that I had no uterine lining and super low progesterone and that's what was causing me to constantly bleed. I started pills and it finally stopped. In Novemeber (when I got diagnosed with PCOS and Hypothyroidism) I started thyroid pills which have been amazing and they also prescribed Clomid which I would start on my next period on CD 3 (Cycle Day 3)  for 5 days. I started my period in December 2016 which then I started Clomid and for those who have been on it,you know what I mean when I say...the side effects are brutal and it is alot of work because you can't just take the pills and wait. You have to plan and have sex on certain days if not everyday so you can hit those peak days on ovulation and hope that it worked.  I later found out that round didn't work and I was discouraged and sad because I wanted it to work so badly but we decided to give it another try for January and we found out that it worked and I cam currently almost 17 weeks pregnant which is an incredible blessing...BUT I am not here to tell you my story. I am here to tell all of those who have been trying for months or years that you are not alone. I cried whenever I saw a pregnancy announcement on social media because I wanted that to be me. I know that all of you understand that it's painful and hard to see that, to see that your friends/family get to have this miracle growing inside them instead of you. I had a hard time and still am having a hard time posting pregnancy statuses and bump pictures on social media because I know alot of you are hurting and don't want to see that, so when I post things, I am not trying to stuff it in your face, I am just sharing my journey and I want you to know that hope is coming and one of my favorite blogs is about how God is making your baby! He is preparing you for the greatest journey but He is waiting for the perfect time to give you this amazing blessing and someday you may or may not find all the puzzle pieces and that is okay.  It's okay to feel like giving up. Sometimes you need a break from trying and that is perfectly okay, there is nothing wrong with that. Just because it's taking a little extra longer doesn't make you any less of a Woman or human being, it just means that you are strong and you are capable of doing this! You've got this and remember you are not alone. I pray for each and everyone who is struggling with infertility because it's not easy. It is one of the hardest things to go through. God's got you in His arms and He won't let go. Through your journey, He is with you <3

"Still" by Hillary Scott

"I believe that You are God alone
But sometimes I still try to take control
Cause I get scared when I can't see the end
And all You want from me is to let go"

"You're parting waters
Making a way for me
You're moving mountains that I don't even see
You've answered my prayer before I even speak
All You need for me to be is still
Be still"